Always there is a heart invovled..!

Loving 'HER' made me feel that there is no sadness in the world other than being heartbroken. Though as time passed I found an answer that there is lot of sadness in this world than merely being heartbroken.

The weight that fell on my heart and long hours of putting the pain onto a paper, into words, churning thoughts made me feel how being a writer can be impossibly difficult. Sitting in a boring room whining away my time like an ICU patient awaiting to get his life support removed so that he chooses death by choice rather than the pain kills him before, was enough inspiration to write a stack of novels. Even death can be an inspiration!

The unending stream of questions on love and life, appeared to be complicated math puzzles, sounded a familiar territory but the answer kept evading.

While I chose to remain where I was; a voice begged for my attention; for my notice. Returning back from my world of delusions and illusions, I observed a man placed in front of me two passport size pictures on his beautiful daughters, one of whom keeps falling ill so much so that he had been reduced to selling his possessions in the attempt to find a reason; a cure for even a name for what his 6 month old daughter suffers from.

The man asked me for nothing but a listening ear and I heard to all that ailed him. Amidst a conversation that may have lasted a few minutes, the man shared with me; a stranger, more that he had with his colleagues. As he walked away; I couldn't help but realize how heartbroken this man really was and isn't this exactly what being heartbroken is?

When you love something or someone from the core of your heart and it appears that the circumstances chose to place you such that a feeling of despair becomes you. Helplessness engulfs you for all the dreams and wishes one makes for their choice of love; it appears they can do nothing more than be a silent viewer. More so ever situations become worse when one doesn't know what pleasure is and what pain can do!

A career; a child; a friend; a mate; a love; name it whatever you wish but in every circumstance and in every event there always is a heart involved.

So from what I can gather as a mere observer is that while there may be much more sadness in the world than merely being heartbroken, in each scenario; every time; no matter who the characters in the play of life are; there always is a heart involved....

One that has been shaken, broken to thousand pieces and may never stick together..

One that seeks to be nursed, healed and loved.......

And one that blindly follows the only course it knows.

-Saadhu

Deception...

The Idea of Non-voilence - A Memoir

Somehow I subconsciously accepted Violence as the symbol of strength and Non-violence as a sign of weakness. As a result, the ‘Tit for Tat’ approach seemed to be the only smart decision and Forgiveness sounded good only in spiritual anecdotes. However, our violent nature never comes into the limelight. We fight with a fellow commuter while traveling to office, because we think he pushed us. We fight with our family or relatives because we think they are exploiting us. We fight with our spouse thinking our partner is being unfair to us. We fight a lot, but our fights get overlooked. It is not highlighted like wars between nations. So we think we are normal people and there is nothing wrong with us. We don’t even realize how violent we have become.

“If a person is intending to kill me, I can't just say, please be my guest." I will have to fight for my life. I wish every one of my sisters to slap in the face of the rogue who is teasing her.. how good that site will be. At some level aggression has knitted itself as a way of life. Is a favorite TV show, favorite attire or any other belonging, a worthy cause to fight with a sibling? Is getting little pushed over or stepped over, a worthy a cause to get into fist-fight with an absolute stranger? Is Wealth or Land, a worthy cause to cut through the bloodline of our ancestors? Is Politics, a worthy cause to pull out a partition and divide a nation? Is Race, a worthy cause to burn human beings alive?

Some may say yes and be proud about it. There is absolutely no way to prove them wrong. Today, we fight for Education. Education is supposed to help us become more mature. Ironically, we have ended up fighting for seat reservations. Today we fight over Religion, which was devised to help humanity transcend the normal being. Instead of transcending to higher level, we have stooped further low and have humiliated humanity by our act. Today, we fight for Love, which just reveals the height of human ignorance. Love the most divine feeling, the essence of peace being the sole cause of hatred and triggering violence. Non-violence is not an individual concept but it is a phenomenon concerned with the whole group. With the present situation wherein large families have become small families and small families becoming minor families and when people are forgetting collective nouns like 'us' 'them ' 'we' ,how can one expect that non-violence will succeed.

In silence and solitude...

I still remember the place,

And the day, I saw your face.

It took just few seconds to fall in love,

With you, beautiful angel sent from above.

Time has gone past,

But moments I spent with you never last.

You have changed so did I,

But my love for you was never lost.

People say that I am a loser,

For I have not told you when you are near.

My love was plain for you to see,

For it was written all over me.

It took time for me to realize,

That our love would never materialize.

You have chosen another one for you,

But my love for you always grew.

You would never know how hard I fought,

But the pain inside me just won’t stop.

May be I have to suffer for the chance I never took,

And now I don’t have a second chance to look.

You are my love at first sight,

And there was nothing I could do.

I can never find that feeling,

With anyone other than you.

As always I just wanted to say

–‘I love you’ all alone

in silence and solitude.

Telangana - Black or White

With all due respects to the sentiments on display by the people of Telangana, Andhra, Rayalaseema regions of Andhra Pradesh, there seems to be only black or white solution for the problem.It is really astonishing how the sentiments have surfaced and grew up in the past month. Any wide eyed person avoids falling into the trap of politicians who claim hundred reasons, all sounding well versed,for the turmoil. It is clear that agreements were violated, interests of a regions sacrificed and sentiments exploited for political gains. The same may happen in the future too since we are not concentrating on the real cause of the disease but start panicking over it.

Civilizations seldom moved forward by living in the past. Rather they start by learning from the past mistakes, constantly finding new solutions. Unfortunately we are being forced to live and memorize the past, constantly recalling it and getting agitated. Coming to the present and the la la land future which the politicians picturize, few questions are to be answered first:

1. How many of today politicians vow that separate Telangana yields better results. Do they agree to be accountable for it ?

2. If you are sincere towards the region what are you people doing till the situation got worsen?

3. And all the protagonists who think that separation is plucking the feathers of a cock - is it going to be justifiable for every body? (Considering the costs and consequences involved in the separation)

4. Why the problems you show up can't be solved in unison? (You don't cut your nose for catching cold)

Sentiments of people are like corn which when placed under the heat of separatism, regionalism, religion pop up with our politicians spicing up the corn with ghee and other ingredients. Here no one is to be blamed for - either the sentiments of the people, or the people or the politicians (I wonder I started eyeing politicians as altogether another breed as if they are not one among us). Indeed it is the "COMMON SENSE" which seems to have gone on a holiday during these situations who is the real culprit. Short term political gains, larger share in jobs, greed, desire are torches which can shed light for a time span of few years. When the battery of administration fails, as always in the case of Indian political scenario(a vivid example being Jarkhand), we will be looming in the dark often hitting the walls which we have built between ourselves. Already the dogs have gathered together to have a bite at the biscuit.

Watch 'Tomorrow Never Dies' and you ought to simply applaud the dialogue of villain, "Hitler had his armies and I have my News Channel", being in the midst of calamity thrust upon people by "THE MEDIA". No you can't blame it, nor even say 'yes its partly true' because they are the fourth estate. Even few comments made against the media get drowned into the stream of ads as channels are seriously lobbying sides in view of their regional media share in future.They seem more liberal to take any stand they wish and pump more air into the situation till it blasts and becomes a "sensation".Democracy allows yellow journalism to be the right hand tool of the rich and the greedy.

While the gloomy situation prevails around, may COMMON SENSE return to our senses and calm us from within. What all that has been sacrificed by all regions for the mutual benefit of another, within a common boundary should not now get drained for short termed future gains. We are here since our predecessors anticipated a bright future for us and it is obligatory on our part to provide a secured, peaceful future to our successors. There is a grey patch which can be hit by every one of us with collective effort by shedding our inhibitions. Play out of the hands of separatists, let common sense prevail among our selves in this new year.

Where are we heading towards?

Heading into a new year it’s time to reconcile the events unfolded during this year. As a critic of Indian Politics, I understand that our stand in International arena has gone from bad to worse. If not why then a leader of another country pointed his finger at us and said that "India is too democratic for any productive work to happen" (putting it in sense rather than exact words for your information). The political chaos reached to depths when the MNS in Maharashtra or TRS in Andhra Pradesh caught the eye of nation with their anarchist methodologies. It is astonishing that these people have their rightful place in democracy after winning elections if not 20 or 50 seats but enough to voice their concerns. While MNS tried to find new avenues of reaching Marathi Manus by criticizing an International Icon, more of a GOD to Indian cricket fans, TRS in Andhra has tried successfully to state its presence in the state by igniting separatist ideology.

Apart from the good these people seek or atleast try to seek, or even try to convince us that they are seeking, they have eventually jeopardized the already limping political administration. While as a nation we have lot many problems to ponder and progress over, these forces stop the little good happening around and more frustrating is that they feel proud about their acts. Shame upon ourselves!! What a pitiable state have we brought our democracy to.

A parliamentary form of democracy is not a guarantee of a great future. If the legislators are mostly corrupt crooks who get elected by intimidation or vote buying and if the political parties desire to rule to get rich and therefore willingly or otherwise merge or form coalitions with such crooks or co-opt them, we once again get poor governance with fiscal irresponsibility and personal enrichment as in India. The cases of JMM- Congress and BJP forming coalitions with Koda and Soren are a classic example of poor governance and lack of genuine integrity. A blatant proof to show that being elected becomes a path to illicit enrichment by virtue of holding office in India.

So what to do, what is the way, God only knows. When we as responsible citizens time and again start falling into the traps of politicians even God should pre-pone his decision to bring out the 11th Avatar to eliminate these jokers around us and mind wash the Aam Aadmi- the mango people. When educated, articulated young men seek to serve the multi nationals thronging around, when so called peace loving educated general public opt to stay away from elections, when money, liquor and greed drives the remaining people who cast their votes we ought to see the repeated dramas of these so called champions of drown trodden people ruling the roost. Let us all know where are we heading towards in the coming New Year?